Woes of pregnancy
by InsanityamI
Summary: A series of parodies, beginning with 'Woes of a pregnant Weasley's husband' Isn't pregnancy fun? GW/HP
1. Chapter 1

Yet another of Bexd47's

**Woes of a Pregnant Weasley's husband**

"Please Gin, say it again," Ginny smiled at her husband playfully.

"Harry I have already said it ten times already!" Harry smiled lovingly at his wife.

"I know, but I just can't believe it so please, say it again, for me?" Ginny pretended to think about it.

"Ummmmmmm, no." Harry sat on the counter while she chopped the vegetables and gave her his best puppy eyes.

"You know you love me." He said without putting down the eyes. Ginny looked at him with warmth. In truth she couldn't believe it herself, they had only come back from their honeymoon a month ago.

"Alright you win. But for your sake I hope our daughter doesn't have those puppy eyes."

"We aren't having a daughter, we're having a son." Ginny rolled her eyes at her husband's playfulness. But in all truth she could understand it. Voldermort had been defeated two years ago and all the death eaters in his inner circle had been captured and been given the Kiss. Life was simple and all Harry wanted now was to live a happy life with lots of happy, carefree children, and Ginny was more then happy to comply.

"Ok, here goes, Harry, I am two months pregnant, so get ready to cater to my every whim, coz you're the bastard that got me into this mess!" Harry smiled and gave her a quick peck before leaving the kitchen humming a joyful tune. Poor Harry didn't realise just how bad Weasley women were in pregnancy………

_4 months later_

"Harry, it's all your fault I'm fat!"

_6 months later, 2 in the morning_

"Harry, baby, can you get me a pizza with shrimps, mayonnaise, custard and ice-cream on top? Oh, and a glass of coke with blackcurrant juice in it? Thanks love"

_7 months later – labour_

"-HARRY JAMES POTTER, I SWEAR YOU ARE NEVER, EVER, TOUCHING ME AGAIN UNLESS _YOU _ARE THE ONE TO GET PREGNANT! GOT IT?…"

"-AND I FUCKING SWEAR IF YOU DON'T GET THIS BLOODY BABY OUT OF ME IN 1.4 NANOSECONDS I AM GONNA-"

"Hey love, can you get me a diet coke from the vending machine outside the room, thanks love. –"

"-OH CRAP! I AM HAVING TWINS! HARRY YOU ARE WELL AND TRULY NEVER TOUCHING ME AGAIN! I WANT A SEPARATE ROOM………………"

_3 years later_

"Ginny hon, can you call Madame Pomfrey, I seriously can't keep down any of my food." Ginny smiled coyly while tying Tammy's fiery red hair and putting James' coat on.

" Well baby, that's normal"

" How is chucking up my guts normal?"

"Because I put a male pregnancy potion in your pumpkin juice last week, congrats Harry, your pregnant."

"Ha ha, very funny Gin, let me guess, Fred and George's fake pregnancy potion?"

"No, Neville's 'create a magical womb, have a woman's egg magically transfer into the man's body and hey presto you got a baby' potion" Harry passed out, suffice to say.

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_God I love playing with these characters! - Bexd47_

I think this is by far my fave, I will be writing the next chappy so stay tuned for 'What Ginny didn't know'


	2. Chapter 2

**What Ginny didn't know, was that Potter men are worse**

**4 months**

"Harry, what's wrong?" Ginny asked soothingly to her uncontrollably sobbing husband.

"I can't see my own feet!"

6 Months 

"Ginny, can you get me some every flavour beans, mixed in with cosmopolitan ice cream with a hint of whiskey and some spinach, carrots, broccoli and sprouts mixed inside? Thanks babe."

7 Months 

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN POTTER MEN HAVE BECOME PREGNANT INN THE PAST?………-WHAT? A BLOODY WOMB FOR LIFE? – THE ABILITY TO BECOME RE-PREGNANT? – GINNY POTTER!YOU'RE A DEAD WOMAN!" Ginny ran for what her life was worth.

**8 months**

"Do you regret giving him the potion, Gin?"

"GINNY, GET YOUR SKINNY ASS UP HERE, I NEED YOOOOOOUUUUUU" Ginny simply nodded

**9 Months – Labour**

"YOU'RE GONNA BLOODY WELL MAKE MY BALLS DISPEAR AND GIVE ME A VAGINA! GINNY!

GINNY POTTER, I SWEAR I AM NEVER EVER HAVING ANOTHER CHILD AGAIN! YOU ARE GONNA BE THE BLOODY WOMAN IN THIS RELATION – AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DAMN YOU GINNY, IT'S TRIPLETS!

AHHHHHHHHHH

Ginny honey, can you get me a fanta, mixed with coke and Dr. Pepper?"

**3 years later**

Suffice to say the Potter household was manic, but now, Hermione Weasley is preggers, how will she cope?

* * *

Join in next time for: Ditto Hermione too! 

Reviews make me quicker

COOKIES!


	3. AUTHOR NOTE IMPORTANT

Ok, I know updates are far between and few so I have devised a small plan. I will work on each fic separately until it is completed and this is the order it will go in:

New Life Needed (5 more chapters approx)

Fallen Angel (3 more chapters approx)

Woes of Pregnancy series (Until I run out of couples, may take a while)

Not always as they seem (9 chapters approx)

THEN I will eventually move onto my sequels (God help me)

Revenge best served in Virginia (New Life Needed sequel, Amy's Revenge)

Lily Black (Fallen Angel sequel)

AND some new ones only after these ones are finite.

Thank whatever deity of 6 weeks of summer hols! However I will be away for two weeks on holiday with no access to a pc, although I will write down the next chapter on paper during that time.

Sorry for any inconvenience but I will go as fast as poss.!

Thanks for your patience and please don't hate me.


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